hold onto your words cause talk is cheap

High Rise and street lights
I'm alone again

Midnight and bright eyes
This is how it ends

This hotel room consumes my soul
It breaks my heart out of control

This window glass
surrounding me
Will be the last
thing that I see

This sudden death
That I imbibe
Will break my breath
While I'm alive

And so I press
This morbid liquid to my lips
A single tear connects
These sordid hollow sips.

You look peaceful when you sleep
Soft and gentle as you breathe

You sigh beautifully outloud
And I thank God for the sound

Touch my fingers to your cheek
Commit this moment to memory

And I don't want to fall asleep
This is better than any dream

So I'll take these arms of mine
And pull you close to me
I promise I won't come alive
Until I feel you breathe

Breathe your promises
over this skin I'm in
Soft and gentle through the night

Breathe in all our future plans
Stealing kisses, holding hands
Soft and gentle through the night

I'll whisper once more before I go
In a soothing honest voice
This is the only love I ever want to know
I've already made the choice

On the days I am weak
I raise my ragged bones to the clouds

These bones that I'm in are simply an Earthly house
This house is just bones covered in skin

But you cannot see the temple within
You cannot see the strength of his stripes
That color my faith

Or the promises now written
Over previous mistakes

You cannot hear the chorus of angels
melodiously soothing my soul

Or the sound of his voice
Leading my uncertain steps wherever I go

And so, this body may seem
Like every other before it

But the difference in me is the light of the Lord
And I'll always show it

May It never change
From this moment on

May I follow your ways
Be brave and stand strong

Though the valley has me now
May the mountain be my home

May I never be too proud to bow
Always in your name alone

So I'm lifting your name
And I'm waiting and praying

I know you're on your way
To honor everything I'm saying

And when the day comes
And I'm ready for use

May the mountain top nourish my soul
Because my time in the valley was all for you

Watch your step, love is broken

I’ve always loved the grass.  The comfort of its touch floating beneath my silent, content body, holding me up with every precious blade.  The ripples of its current run through the memories of countless childhood days.  Endless summer days, spent relaxing happily in its bed of familiarity.  The grass, my long-time friend, my eternal comforter, now holds me bravely as I contemplate the future.  Here, in the grass, with the sun showering soft sprinkles of hope with every one of its rays, I close my eyes and take in more than the sun could ever give me.  I close my eyes and slip further into this amazing reverie, this amazing realization, this epiphany. 
 
I am every tear you cry

I close my eyes and let this symphonic immortality ring gloriously into my soul. This song plays beautifully through these earphones, singing me to peace and deftly taking up residence within me.  This fluid conscious stream in perfect synchronicity with the cadence of the melody currently penetrating much deeper than just my ears.  Yes, my ears currently house the bane of my previous ignorant existence, the destroyer of all things blissfully ignored, this song broke through all that, these words freed a once captive mind, but it’s much more than that, much deeper do waters flow, this is just the tide that fuels the storm, the inevitable foreseeable storm.  I was once content to travel forward, happily unaware of any real destination.  But moving forward with no real purpose is quite frankly not at all dissimilar to remaining stagnant. 

Save your breath, your heart has spoken

Inevitable.  So many things in this life are inevitable.  As much as I love laying here, in the grass, peacefully passing the time with my hands behind my head, I will undoubtedly have to get up off the grass, wipe the remnants of its company off my clothes and walk away.  But not right now.  Right now, my hands remain behind my head, metaphorically and physically ascending my mind closer into the heavens. However minimal it may seem, it is quantifiably more than I had before I cradled myself in my hands, here in the grass.  I breathe out a sigh of relief, completely and entirely content to break the silence with only my sigh.  Anything more would be too much.  Words need not escape these promise-bruised lips, not right now.  My mind knows what my heart feels.  My soul leads both.

You already have my life

My soul rewards my life with moments of complete clarity and the advance to shine unabashedly, only to be imprisoned quickly after, finding solace vacant in the depths of unwarranted oblivion.  But now, now I acquiesce any semblance of resistance. I guess truthfully,  I never really had much reason to believe otherwise.  What could I really do If It was inevitable?  

For I am finding out that love will kill and save me

I died years ago, only to torturously incinerate my newly reborn skin with the fires of incredible folly.  I bathed my soul, my body, my heart, in the waters of repentance and held tightly to the assumption that I would need no other cleansings.  I was sadly mistaken.  Here in the grass, the sun lighting my path and the sweet breeze washing my past, I fall for the first time, into this place of complete peace.  I know those waters were both death and life.  Those waters run through my veins still.

Taking the dreams that made me up

Those water filled veins fuel me in this moment.  I walk down the proverbial memory lane inside my head.  I look back on the years I’ve had.  A decorated lifetime.


And tearing them away

I’m stripping my personage of anything superfluous for the journey just ahead.  I’m packing up the things I need and storing them close to my heart, all the while disposing of the recrement.

 Dear Ted,

It was true!
what I said
I'm leaving you for Fred
he's much better in bed
I'm sorry about Ned
I never meant to crack open his head
I was aiming for Ed
The jerk-off tried to poison me with led
that made me boiling red
But now
I am happy instead!

 take a closer look at what you left behind
someday soon you'll see mistakes can break your mind
play the game 
I'm sure you wont get slack
but when you least expect
the game will play you back
smile though you're crying 
smile though it hurts
dont second guess 
this love based on borrowed words
go on dreaming 
of  worlds within your reach
pretend to love
all the problems that you keep

 blue as the ocean
so is my spirit
red as blood
so are my eyes
broken as your promise
so is my heart
dead as yesterday
so is our love
Goodbye.

 Unhappy perhaps is the man, but happy the artist, who is torn with this desire.
I burn to paint a certain woman who has appeared to me so rarely, and so swiftly fled away, like some beautiful, regrettable thing the traveller must leave behind him in the night. It is already long since I saw her.
She is beautiful, and more than beautiful: she is overpowering. The colour black preponderates in her; all that she inspires is nocturnal and profound.
Her eyes are two caverns where mystery vaguely stirs and gleams; her glance illuminates like a ray of light; it is an explosion in the darkness.
I would compare her to a black sun if one could conceive of a dark star overthrowing light and happiness.
But it is the moon that she makes one dream of most readily; the moon, who has without doubt touched her with her own influence; not the white moon of the idylls, who resembles a cold bride, but the sinister and intoxicating moon suspended in the depths of a stormy night, among the driven clouds; not the discreet peaceful moon who visits the dreams of pure men, but the moon torn from the sky, conquered and revolted, that the witches of Thessaly hardly constrain to dance upon the terrified grass.
Her small brow is the habitation of a tenacious will and the love of prey. And below this inquiet face, whose mobile nostrils breathe in the unknown and the impossible, glitters, with an unspeakable grace, the smile of a large mouth ; white, red, and delicious; a mouth that makes one dream of the miracle of some superb flower unclosing in a volcanic land.
There are women who inspire one with the desire to woo them and win them; but she makes one wish to die slowly beneath her steady gaze.

It wasn't hard to fall for you 
I breathed you in right from the start
you danced around all over my skin 
found your way into my heart
they say some tears were meant to dry 
others  not at all
still remember when you said goodbye 
hid behind your shallow wall 
walked away with a broken heart that night
turned around to see
gone were the days when your smile made it alright  
end of nights when your promises breathed life into me
you used that same smile to wish me good luck  
a kiss on the cheek
 in the proverbial dust 
I'll let this bruised organ heal all on its own 
somehow find my own way home
If it was for the best time will very soon tell 
but tonight I leave this foolish heart where it once fell

 I wrote these words to you tonight
only witnessed by the moon's sweet light
pen to paper
heart to soul
I let my love
freely flow
no promises that I might break
the last one was the last
of my mistakes
I bathe my body in true devotion
sunrise 
sunset
over the ocean
I'll draw your portrait on the walls of my skin
love you outloud 
bring you home again

 You sit beside me with your blue eyes
staring heaven into my side
the sun shines with every smile that breaks
effortlessly across your delicate face
to reach for your touch 
is asking too much
barely able to breathe
trying hard not to leave
walk away from this feeling
leave it behind
this heart that you're stealing
used to be mine
my body, my soul
my love, my world
you held out your hands
and took them away
now where ever you are
forever I'll stay

I held your hand that night
as you slowly fell away
I stared heaven into you
kissed you unafraid
I swore my tears would bring you back
they silenty slipped beneath my heart
I caught them in my shaking hands
wished away the hurt
I may not hold you for anymore tomorrows
may not wake up to your smiling face
but It's ok
you are now and forever
In God's eternal grace
so close your eyes sweet child and know
loving angels wait to carry you home 

He walks with his innocent eyes fixed on the ground treaded below him.

Too lost in perpetual thought to ever realize he fails to catch the smiles all the others show him. 

He has a good heart and an honest conscience, but he can't seem to help but let her twisted words haunt him. 

Strong to the touch, but his heart crushes within.

Is it too much to wish him whole again?

Because of her, he retraces the missteps of his fortune, wondering what went wrong.

He doesn't yet see that he never stayed with her because with her he never truly belonged. 

It was never his battle to fight, nor her heart ever his to be won.


We all know he is destined to love the girl whom God long ago placed in waiting for just the right occasion.

She will be the one finally worthy of his unwavering loyalty and admiration, of which he will happily give without hesitation. 

His life will be forever changed the moment he realizes he is holding the one. 

And for the first time his tears will be shed out of nothing but love.

His heart may be scarred from previous attempts, but when it recovers his heart will be stronger in her loving hands.  

The day will soon be witnessed when his eyes will fall on the one that is right.

And in that moment I'll wish him all the best of luck and of life.